December 30. 2018

As you’re reading this, I’m most likely sitting in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, listening to the sounds of the jungle.

I’m told the animals come alive at night, and the sounds that begin as a distraction become the white noise, the background music of nights spent in mosquito net-covered beds.

I’ve had the shots, yellow fever and Hep A and Hep B; taken the typhoid medication and the malaria pills, and will know by this time whether I’ve had to take the altitude pills from my stay in Cusco. And I hope I’m where I’m supposed to be.

My new thing is to spend the end of the year someplace else–not at home. Last year I went to Southern California for just over two weeks; this year I’m in the southern hemisphere. Last year it was LA, Palm Springs, Phoenix, and I managed to catch the second sunrise of the year over the Grand Canyon; this year, I’ve seen Lima, had an incredible meal at the incredible Central Restaurant, seen the Nazca Lines, lake Titicaca, the sacred valley and Machu Pichu and the condors of the Colca Canyon as they soar on the thermals in the morning light.

I’m doing this for a few reasons. First, I love to travel and expect to be doing more of this in the future; second, I choose times that are connected to or disconnected from my former career as a wife — holidays and anniversary dates are good time to be someplace else, removed from what you knew before. I know others who do this and I truly believe it is a healing thing to do. Finally, my being away makes it easier for my son to make choices about where and when he needs to be where and when. My family didn’t make a big deal of holidays growing up; my mom had to work sometimes at the hospital on Christmas evening or daytime or New Years, so we just worked around it, but the other side of his family seems to find holidays a necessary uncomfortable activity–I guess it’s just part of the celebration.

And, as I look back over what is different between last year and this year, I’m able to review this blog and use it as a sort of guideline.

There were times when I wrote spontaneously, as things happened, such as getting stuck in the elevator or my visit to a club, apparently as an old lady, just a few weeks ago, More times than not, I drew on things from the past. There were other times when I wanted to write furiously about something exciting or something that pissed me off, but I’ve held back until those things come to resolutions.

I think I enjoyed most the reflections of growing up, and those seemed to resonate with people who were reading the blog too. Nostalgia is a great and powerful thing.

But so is looking forward… and as we head into 2019, there’s a lot to look forward to. For me? Hopefully more travel and continued fun at work. It’s great to truly enjoy your job and the people around you, I know that now. A fixed French door–a story for another day and a repair of the smashed plate glass window the result of a collision between it and a good sized bird, I believe another story for another day, I’m sure. Some renos to my place, a wedding (not mine!), good health, and all that stuff.

The blog? This is my 54th post, once a week for a year, plus a couple before I got started. Sometimes it felt like work, and that’s not good. I don’t want to ever feel like I have to write. I want to do it because I want to.

I don’t feel like it ever found its voice–that I ever found my voice through it. So I’m not sure what I’ll do. I’ll keep it open for now, and post from time to time–maybe on travel, maybe some more podcasting, maybe a different focus altogether. I’m not sure yet.

But what I am sure of is that I wanted to thank you all for reading and following along, commenting when you had something to share. That means a lot to me. That means the world to me.

So, Happy New Year–and all the best in 2019. I hope to see you on line… and maybe I’ll eventually get around to talking about this trip… and tattoos… and the sad, sad world of online dating…